The 911 call:

Caller: Somebody’s really drunk driving down Granton Road."

Dispatch: Okay are you behind them, or…

Caller: No, I am them.

Dispatch: You am them?

Caller: Yes, I am them.

Dispatch: Okay so you want to call and report that you’re driving durnk?

Caller: Yes.

…and the police report speak for themselves, I guess:

On Saturday October 24, 2009 at about 11:23 p.m. I was dispatched to Granton Rd. Near Miller Ave. to a possible intoxicated driver. Dispatch said the caller Mary [Name Redacted] called stating she wanted to report a drunk driver which she said was herself. Dispatch informed me Mary said she pulled over along the road and turned her emergency flashers on.

…Mary said then began driving home alone in her vehicle until she called the Sheriff’s Department to report that she was driving drunk…

Let’s hope she gets some credit from the prosecutors for “doing the right thing”.